Today was littered with Mom Panic. So much for being a dangerous Mom, for today anyway. Things started with a phone call to the Canadian Insurance Advocate. We’ll call her Ginny. Ginny was kind, prepared, and prompt. She asked if we had read through the paperwork they had sent over in advance “No” I answered “We’re sort of behind on things” I said, hating the words as they came out of my mouth. How could we already be behind? We just needed to read an email for Chrissake.
“The plan we recommend, and
that plan that is most commonly selected, runs about $12,000…. For 60 days of
care.”
Let’s pause here. In the ever-baffling
surrogate route that we have chosen, there are endless bits of To-Do’s that the
“traditional” parent doesn’t have to bother with. This is one of those
situations:
Because our Baby will be born in
Canada, we need to find a way to medically insure him, once born. And because
(as you may or may not know) your regular ol’ insurance from the states does
NOT apply to you or your infant child, outside of the states (aside from some
unique and expensive caveats for things like visiting the ER or urgent care
centers). So, while we will be purchasing some of that regular ‘ol insurance,
we additionally need to purchase a special insurance that will cover our boy, for
the first days/weeks of his life.
AND, because we know we will
spend around a month in Canada, after he is born (this is because we have to
wait for his Canadian passport to arrive, so that we may all be allowed to exit
the country). This means, that 60 day coverage, will generously cover all the days
we plan to spend in Canada.
So if you just did the math, our
friend Ginny is trying to charge us $12,000 for around one month of care (oh,
PS this insurance is only good in Canada, so once you leave, you’re off the plan).
So here I am, a “dangerous” Mom
being told things like “well, if your baby ends up in the ICU it’s a minimum of
$5,000 per day” and “you never know what could happen” and my mind is spinning.
She’s right! How could we possibly skimp on the insurance? This is our son’s LIFE,
my mind shrieks with nails on a chalkboard.
We thank Ginny for her time and
hang up. It was a three way call, and Eric stays on the phone “So, what do you
want to do?” I ask Eric “Plan 4 of course, Plan 1 is ridiculous.” Plan 4 is
only $3,000 less, not to say that I don’t want to save the money but like
*insert nails on a chalkboard* ITS OUR SON’S LIFE WE ARE TALKING ABOUT.
We talk a bit more, and while
Eric is making so much sense, it’s too overwhelming for me to decide in that
momen. We decide to discuss it this evening.
I spend the rest of the morning
panic-shopping for baby items.
TO: ERIC@gmail.com
FROM: LAUREN@gmail.com
What do you think about this
dresser with changing table? Price is much better than the last one 😊 😊 😊
Want to buy now? Yes?
Next I
start looking for rockers, but realize you have to at least sit in them. And I
wonder if I should spend the rest of the day, at buy buy baby. Maybe just play
hookey and use the day to do the most important things for our baby. OF COURSE.
Instead of
heading to the store, I work up a string of panic texts, and send them to
Katelyn:
I’m having baby panic.
I don’t think we should fly with the
baby
Since he won’t be vaccinated
And when does he even get vaccinated?
In Canada or US?
AND WHO IS HIS DOCTOR?
And just
like that, I’m onto the next panic. Searching for pediatricians within my
network. They’re all terrifying, of course, and I’m convinced our values don’t align.
Also, Male or Female? I’d prefer a woman of course, but we are having a boy
after all, so maybe he’d like a man?
I’m
hungry now. It’s been hours of this nonsense. I go to the fridge and take out
last night’s pad thai. I sit at the dining table, in silence. Eating cold
noodles from a plastic container.
And I ask:
Am I a dangerous Mom? Or just a helicopter mom in sheep’s clothing? But most of
all…… WHO IS HIS PEDIATRICIAN? HOW WILL WE GET HIM HOME FROM CANADA? WHICH INSURANCE
IS RIGHT? DID ERIC ORDER THAT DRESSER I WANT?
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