My Doctor sort of nudged me toward it, as I've been having heart palpiltations and shortness of breath that we haven't figured out yet... Which, more than likely means, a-n-x-i-e-t-y.
For me, anxiety tends to be very present, and clear. She usually shows up, guns blazing, and full of things to say, like: "THIS SUCKS." "NO!" "YES!" "ARE YOU KIDDING ME??" "STEP AWAY FROM-THAT-FIRE!"
Other times, she doesn't say anything at all. Instead, she quietly tugs at my life in small ways, like yelling at my dogs because they won't stop chasing birds at 6 in the morning, or when my boyfriend, tells me he's not feeling close, and then I don't respond well.
Because my patience is absent.
My heart is skipping a beat.
and I'm out of breath, at rest.
Today, I'm alone. I'm watching my dogs sleep and I'm flipping through the new Domino magazine with a big mug of coffee. Later, I'll poke around some of my favorite shops, and take myself to lunch.
The most beautiful thing is, I don't feel guilty at all. My stomach is calm, my heart is properly beating, and my lungs are full. It's the first time I've sat with myself, with my thoughts, for more than 10 minutes, in a very long time and my body is giving me so much gratitude.
I can't wait to see what I learn from myself, today. It's as if my mind has finally sat down at the table and given my body the patience she needs. So let me have it, body, and I promise to do my best not to judge you, or "should" all over you.
Friends, if this resonates with you, in your gut, in your throat, a-n-y-w-h-e-r-e, maybe it's time for you to take a day, just for you, too (#guiltfree).
Wishing you good great health.
Xxo, L
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