As a product of our generation, Eric and I met through an app. Bumble, to be exact.
After a few messages back and forth we set a date and met at Paymaster Lounge for a glass of whiskey. Walking into the date I saw a man with the most gorgeous arms, sitting out front in a white T-shirt and jeans. It was a good sign, I thought.
Eric says that he truly felt time freeze, as I walked up... that everything stopped for just a moment...
The date however, left something to be desired.
Eric ordered a Kale salad (at a dive bar, mind you) and spent the date talking about how he likes to exercise and hasn’t had a drink in 3 months. I thought that, while he was clearly a very together and handsome man (a DOCTOR, no less {said in a Jewish Mother’s accent – “a DOC-TAH!”}) I just wasn’t feeling a spark, as I popped down a few tater tots and watched him eat salad.
Eric later told me that he wasn’t impressed with my lack of direction and affinity for fried foods. As he had asked me on the date “what are you looking for from online dating?” and I said “I don’t know, whatever comes my way?” (I was 30 and a bit jaded. Fully prepared to live alone the rest of my life, since serious relationships with men, had proven to be a waste of time) and when I asked him “what about you, what are you looking for?” he said “a wife and kids.” (UH OK, P-S-Y-C-H-O)
We parted ways after maybe an hour, and I figured I would never hear from him. (But Eric says that he felt something was there, that night).
Less than a week later, Eric messaged me to see if I was downtown (he knew I was out, working on some design projects in the area) but by the time I got his message, I had already made my way to a client’s house in the ‘burbs. Nevertheless he said, “I have a gift for you” and shot me a picture of Roses with a bottle of Jameson. He then texted “I was hoping I could get you to go to a summer concert with me.”
It was August, and prime time for an outdoor concert.
I emphatically said yes. In that moment, I could tell that this was a man who, if it worked out, would treat me very well.
When the night of the date came, it was one of those perfect summer nights that would stay warm well past midnight. Eric insisted on picking me up and we made our way to Revolution Hall. The concert itself was on the rooftop and it was gorgeous. We stood up there and had whiskey after whiskey as we watched the sun set.
Talking to him, there was a brief moment where I thought “am I falling in love right now?” and then I thought “nahhh, no way” as I stared at his profile, while the sunset danced on his face. And to tell the truth, I don’t know what band we saw that night. We hardly paid attention, we were too busy learning one another.
After the concert, we grabbed some food and then headed back to my place to investigate that bottle of whiskey he had given me.
The night is fuzzy, but I remember feeling like a kid. We couldn’t stop laughing and talking as we sipped whiskey on my sofa, all the windows open, a summer breeze pouring in. Drunken bliss.
I eventually tired, and upon remembering that I had work the next day, I told Eric I was going to bed.
He said “Ok, you go to bed, I’m going to stay up and drink more whiskey.”
I laughed at him and demanded he sleep with me.
And by sleep, I actually mean sleep. There was absolutely zero funny business this night. And the fact that I wanted Eric to sleep over was huge. I felt incredibly safe with him; I knew that I could sleep in a bed with him, and he wouldn’t touch me, unless I asked him to.
In the morning, we awoke fully dressed, with pounding headaches.
I barely made it to work and was a complete disaster the entire day. Which, by the end of, I was texting Eric to see if he wanted to see me again.
I believe his answer was “YES!” and just a few hours later, I was on his couch, eating Thai Take Out and watching the movie La La Land.
It was another hot night, with all the windows open and summer breeze pouring in over us.
We went on dating here and there for a few more weeks, and then… it almost ended.
It became apparent early on, that Eric and I are opposites, in so many ways. And after 4 weeks, I was seriously concerned that he couldn’t keep up with me, emotionally. So I texted him one morning before work and sent the “we need to talk” message.
Eric called me right away.
The sound of his voice made me feel that I was making a mistake, but I continued with my explanation on why I thought we should end things now.
Eric was patient, kind, and understanding, as he listened and kindly disagreed completely.
I told him that I was wondering if I was making a mistake, ending things. And somehow we agreed that I would take 24 hours to decide how I felt.
At the end of the day, I called him, and we talked more. He told me how he’d done some research on our personality types, and that he felt we could make it work, and that he wanted to do the work, with me.
By the next day, I had decided that this wasn’t the end of our story. When he came over that night, and held me in his arms, I knew with every cell in my body, that I had made the right choice.
We have been together since...
When I think back on that day, I wonder how I could have been so wrong. It almost scares me that I could have made such a stupid decision. It's true that I am more emotional than Eric, but he is my steady rock, and I can't imagine us any other way.
So when Eric proposed on Christmas day 2019, at my parents home in Bend, I emphatically said “yes.”
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